Bell Lap

Dear Diary,

(TW: mental health talk)

I just finished my last Winter Track season ever. If I am going to be honest, this season flew by. 

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I did not do Winter Track freshman year, I don't even know why. It could be because it took me awhile to get used to high school because I am not a fan of change, and the transition from middle school to high school is incredibly overwhelming. I joined the Winter Track team as a sophomore, and I am so very happy I did because it allowed me to become closer to teammates and even closer with the sport of running. 

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If I were to describe this season in a few words, I would call it “a blank slate.” Trying to better yourself mentally while in high school is truly a challenge. No one talks about it enough. Having the same cycle everyday: waking up, going to school for seven hours, participating in various extracurriculars, clubs, sports, hours worth of high level homework every night till 2am is hard on people who are determined to never disappoint. Also, on top of that is the social pressure from peers and adults to remain smiling and laughing all throughout the day. 

I had a goal this season. I had a goal to finish every race. Now some people may think “that’s easy just keep running.” Coming from someone who is not terrified to voice her struggles, this was an obstacle. But, I can confidently state, “I did it.” 

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Someone told me once that I was not good at what I do. Someone told me once that I am not that fast, and I never will be because I don’t look like what all the other runners look like. This was upsetting to me because it demonstrates that people still believe that you have to look a certain way to be good at your sport. At this period in my life, I was not cheerful due to the fact school and everyday life was a heavy weight on my shoulders. Hearing this made me angry, yet it did make me want to prove them wrong. 

I can say it is a privilege that I am someone who is not afraid to reach out to others for help. Being able to have conversations with people I trust is one of the most beautiful things about life. Having a bond that is locked and valued is something I will always cherish. I wish I could say “thank you” every single day to those people in my life. (thank you)

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In my opinion, track is one of the hardest sports. Having to constantly train at a high impact is not easy on the body, but maybe that is why I love it. This season was especially laborious due to the fact we had to work around COVID outbreaks and extremely cold weather. However, we were lucky enough to be able to travel to the Reggie Lewis Track and Athletic Center for meets this season. 

I adore the aura of the Reggie because it brings so many runners together. I can say with pleasure that I have met some of the most joyful, bright and enthusiastic people I know on the starting line of my races. Coming from a long distance runner, I am proud to say that the community of runners is one of the most welcoming groups of people I know. 

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So here is a little story that illustrates just how wonderful long distance track runners are:

It was an honor to be able to run the mile at the divisional meet this season. I was able to compete because my season PR was close enough to the qualifying time. I was the only girl from my team that was competing in this event that night, so I had to go to the gym alone to check in. I saw some other girl that was the only one from her team running the mile as well. I went over to her while she was warming up to ask if I was in the right place for my event. She had a bright smile when I asked her, and she said “yes, I think so. I’m running the mile too. What’s your name? My name is [name here because of privacy reasons].” We talked for a little while, and it turned out we had the SAME personal record. When we went to line up, all the girls running the mile were talking about how nervous we were to compete, but we ALL wished each other good luck. In addition, we talked about college and what we wanted to study and where we wanted to go. During these conversations, it caused me to realize that all these runners have good character.

When we went out to line up near the fence of the track, I looked over at the other athletes and voiced, “we got this! Good luck!” Then, I told them about my daily affirmations. 

Here’s what they were for that day: I am strong. I am capable of completing this race. I am good enough to be competing among these other wonderful athletes. I am fast. I am more powerful than the negative thoughts in my head. 

To my surprise, they clapped for me, and then we did a little warm up lap on the exterior of the inside of the running track. When we went up to the line, we all said good luck, and the race began. 

During the race, the other girl and I were competing back and forth. I could hear all my teammates cheering and shouting for me when I ran past them. Crossing that finish line was probably one of the top most memorable moments in my running career because the other athletes and I were giving each other high fives and telling each other we all did amazing; this showcases how wonderful sportsmanship is in the running community. To add, the other athletes and I that were competing at the front of our heat all got new personal records in the mile! It was such a thrilling way to end our season. 

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Okay, so now I have to end this blog post. Hmmmmmm. Thinking. Thinking. 

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The community that builds a track team is more than just a group of athletic students that want to run in circles to beat times on a clock. The community that builds a track team is a family of athletes that motivate each other to not just better each other in sports but in life in general. I would call Track and Field one of the most welcoming sports that requires a close knit team in order to perform well. You are not just competing for yourself, you are competing for others as well. 

Hey, did you notice anything??? I never listed any of my times from this season even though I had one of my fastest seasons yet. Want to know why?? It’s because my times do not define me. :) Running can be pretty cool when you feel free.

So, now I have to go because I have a few things I have to do. 

Go drink some water!! Spring Track starts in 28 days! 

Here is a reminder that you are more than your academic and athletic performances. Take a deep breath. You matter. ♡

Sincerely, 

Anna